Chosen4Purpose

Confidence is defined as a belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance. It is the belief in self. Lack of confidence affects your everyday life. Unfortunately, many people do not believe in themselves. They are in jobs they hate because they don’t think they can get a better one. Some people have allowed outside influences, such as opinions of others to affect the way they view themselves. This has led to people having many personal issues and practicing harmful behaviour (smoking excessively, alcohol abuse, drugs, anorexia, bulimia etc.) stemming from the fact that they lack confidence in themselves.

Here are some tips to help improve self-confidence:

Learn to like/love yourself.
It may be hard to believe, but many people dislike themselves. They’ve made some mistakes and they continually punish themselves for it. I’ve heard people say, ‘I’m so stupid’, ‘I’m such a failure’. People are so hard on themselves. There is only one of you. You are unique for that very same reason. If you don’t like you, who will like you? You are one of a kind and there will never be anyone like you. Write down all the things you like about yourself. If you find that hard to do, ask your friends or family to do it for you. You’ll be surprised at what they say and appreciate about you that you didn’t know yourself. Everybody has some good qualities, what others say about you will help you see yourself in a whole new light.  You will then begin to appreciate how awesome and wonderful you are!  After this new appreciation of yourself and your newly found qualities; do yourself a favour – take yourself out to dinner, pamper yourself with a spa treatment, or shopping treat, or something you’ll really enjoy.  People who like themselves are very confident, secure in their own skin and have a wonderful outlook on life. They are great to be around because they exude such positive energy and awareness.  In time, you will begin to feel the same way about yourself. Learn to like and love yourself and you’ll never need anyone’s approval again.

Be your authentic self.
Many of us live our lives being who others want us to be.  We dress certain ways because it’s expected of us, we wear makeup, just to the grocery store, because we don’t want to be judged as not being perfect. We behave in certain ways to be accepted.  We are not being who we really are. I remember, some time ago, I went to a dinner, and I was sitting down at a table with other people.  I was told I should get up and say hello to everybody there because it was expected of me even though I knew none of them . I felt anxious and uncomfortable, wondering why I had to do this, (I’m an introvert). I refused to do it. That’s not me and I will not be made to do something to be accepted by anyone. It’s like wearing clothes that are not your size, you feel uncomfortable in them but you’re wearing them because you want to please.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s a difference between doing uncomfortable things because you want to grow as an individual and doing  it because society/people require it from you to fit in. The question to ask your self is are you doing it to fit in, or because you want to grow/mature? Do you feel drained, heavy and exhausted or exhilarating and excited?  Being your authentic self will help to improve your self confidence.

Choose your Influences wisely.
Consider carefully the people in your life and choose who you surround yourself with. If you hang out with negative people, their negativity will rub off on you. Communicate with like-minded people who will lift you up and help you go to the next level in your life. Associate with people who celebrate your successes and comfort and encourage you when you fail. Limit contact with toxic family members or relationships. Focus on uplifting and inspiring thoughts, listen to inspiring music, read biographies of exceptional people and learn from them.

Stay tuned for more tips on how to improve your self-confidence.