How to Improve your Self-Confidence

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Confidence is defined as a belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance. It is the belief in self. Lack of confidence affects your everyday life. Unfortunately, many people do not believe in themselves. They are in jobs they hate because they don’t think they can get a better one. Some people have allowed outside influences, such as opinions of others to affect the way they view themselves. This has led to people having many personal issues and practicing harmful behaviour (smoking excessively, alcohol abuse, drugs, anorexia, bulimia etc.) stemming from the fact that they lack confidence in themselves.

Here are some tips to help improve self-confidence:
Learn to like/love yourself.
It may be hard to believe, but many people dislike themselves. They’ve made some mistakes and they continually punish themselves for it. I’ve heard people say, ‘I’m so stupid’, ‘I’m such a failure’. People are so hard on themselves. There is only one of you. You are unique for that very same reason. If you don’t like you, who will like you? You are one of a kind and there will never be anyone like you. Write down all the things you like about yourself. If you find that hard to do, ask your friends or family to do it for you. You’ll be surprised at what they say and appreciate about you that you didn’t know yourself. Everybody has some good qualities, what others say about you will help you see yourself in a whole new light.  You will then begin to appreciate how awesome and wonderful you are!  After this new appreciation of yourself and your newly found qualities; do yourself a favour – take yourself out to dinner, pamper yourself with a spa treatment, or shopping treat, or something you’ll really enjoy.  People who like themselves are very confident, secure in their own skin and have a wonderful outlook on life. They are great to be around because they exude such positive energy and awareness.  In time, you will begin to feel the same way about yourself. Learn to like and love yourself and you’ll never need anyone’s approval again.

Be your authentic self.
Many of us live our lives being who others want us to be.  We dress certain ways because it’s expected of us, we wear makeup, just to the grocery store, because we don’t want to be judged as not being perfect. We behave in certain ways to be accepted.  We are not being who we really are. I remember, some time ago, I went to a dinner, and I was sitting down at a table with other people.  I was told I should get up and say hello to everybody there even though I knew none of them because it was expected of me. I felt anxious and uncomfortable, wondering why I had to do this, (I’m an introvert). I refused to do it. That’s not me and I will not be made to do something to be accepted by anyone. It’s like wearing clothes that are not your size, you feel uncomfortable in them but you’re wearing them because you want to please.

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Don’t get me wrong, there’s a difference between doing uncomfortable things because you want to grow as an individual and doing  it because society/people require it from you to fit in. The question to ask your self is are you doing it to fit in, or because you want to grow/mature? Do you feel drained, heavy and exhausted or exhilarating and excited?  Be your authentic self will help to improve your self confidence.
Choose your Influences wisely.
Consider carefully the people in your life and choose who you surround yourself with. If you hang out with negative people, their negativity will rub off on you. Communicate with like-minded people who will lift you up and help you go to the next level in your life. Associate with people who celebrate your successes and comfort and encourage you when you fail. Limit contact with toxic family members or relationships. Focus on uplifting and inspiring thoughts, listen to inspiring music, read biographies of exceptional people and learn from them.

Stay tuned for more tips on how to improve your self-confidence.

 

How to Overcome Jealousy

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Some tips on overcoming jealousy (contd. from How to Overcome Jealousy)

So how did I get rid of the feeling of jealousy that had come over me?

Pray. Well, what I did was knelt down in my bedroom and prayed. I knew this emotion was a spiritual attack and prayer is a spiritual act. I confessed to God that I was jealous and then I prayed for this thing to be removed from me. Then I started praying for the person I was jealous of. Prayer is a very powerful weapon against any attack of jealousy. Because naturally you pray for people that you love or care for, so there’s something about praying for someone that is so spiritual and selfless, because when you pray for someone you do it out of a heart of love, rather than a heart of hate . Even though you don’t feel that love, it’s there and love conquers hate, love conquers jealousy all day. You will find that jealousy seeping out of you as your heart fills with love for that person. Trust me it works, I tried and it worked. Love trumps hate(no pun intended) all day, everyday.

Reject every negativity. Another thing is when you feel the attacks of jealousy, just shake it off. Refuse to take it, refuse to accept it. Just say, ‘ I refuse to take it, I refuse to accept it, I shake it off, in Jesus name.’ Refuse to accept any negativity and replace every negativity with positivity .

If anyone compares you to another person, just react in a positive manner and say something like, ‘yeah she’s doing good, I’m so happy for her, it just gives me so much hope that I’ll be just as successful some day. How about you?’ Just let them know that your future is bright and you do not have any room for their unconstructive criticism. Don’t let them project their insecurities on you. The person is probably feeling bad about themselves and jealous ( probably a narcissist) and want to project it on to you.

People who are jealous, don’t know who they are and where they’re going. If they did they would be focusing on their own journey and not someone else’s. Sometimes it takes some time to get to where you’re going, thats because God is working out things in your life. And you may be asking God, why it’s taking so long. Well, maybe it’s taking long because you haven’t learnt what you’re supposed to have learnt. Maybe you’re not ready yet.

Focus on your own journey, on being a better person, learning your own life lessons (humility,patience, kindness)and you won’t have time to be jealous of anyone else. You’ve got so much going for you, it’s just that you haven’t tapped into it yet. Learn to accept who you are. Stop comparing yourself with others. There’s always going to be someone prettier than you, richer than you, more intelligent than you. Accept it and move on with your life. You are who you are for a reason. There can be only one ‘you’. Be the best ‘You’ that you can be.

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Learn to be happy for other people’s success.  The Bible says we should rejoice with those who rejoice. Develop an attitude of celebrating people’s achievements in life believing at the same time that your success is on its way, and won’t be delayed. In Jesus name! Your time will come. When you get to that place, when you become the next success story, you will want people to celebrate you instead of being jealous. Remember, what you sow, you’ll reap. So celebrate other people’s successes and get ready for your turn to be blessed!