Extreme Sense of Entitlement and Arrogance
They feel entitled, want more than anybody else, lack empathy but at the same time, they think their not good enough. ( This personality disorder is so complex, it’s unbelievable) They think that they don’t deserve anything.
They are extremely self entitled they do believe they’re entitled to more than they have , they do believe that they’re special but also they hold the opposite conflicting notion that they’re not good enough, they don’t deserve anything. They do have low self-esteem issues, but they hide it to the world (that’s what I discovered about my husband). He would rather die than expose that he feels a little insecure at times. To narcissists, it’s a sign of weakness and cannot be seen as having any defect.
They are very arrogant and therefore will never apologise, (if they ever do apologise, it’s not genuine and is because they want something from you)but underneath all this they are not confident people, they may appear to be on the surface, but they are not. My husband has displayed this several times, most especially in ministry. But the way he carries himself publicly you would not imagine that he had any insecurities. It’s almost like a split personality, they are one way and at the same time another way.
They are prone to depression, self doubt, self pity, self isolation and withdrawal into the cave.
No Respect for Boundaries
Covert narcissists are particularly stubborn and have no respect for boundaries. They will open up your letters or parcels, and will get defensive when challenged about this. They appear not understand that your property is your property and not theirs. I believe this is probably because they believe that their partner/spouse is an extension of themselves, and therefore what belongs to their partner also belongs to them. They expect people to leave everything they’re doing to meet their demands. They feel they’re entitled to do what they want, when they want and every has to agree with their decisions. For example, if a narcissistic husband/father suddenly decides he wants the whole family to go out to dinner, he will expect everyone to be ready to go out now; irrespective of whether the children already have a dinner date with friends that day. He just makes appointments because he’s free, he expects others to be free.
Extremely Sensitive to Criticism/Rule Breakers
Covert narcissists hate criticism in whatever form. Anything that looks like it will effect their self image, will lead to an emotional outburst and narcissistic injury. Then they will go on the attack, (always under cover)to protect themselves and their image.
Eventually the mask will slip and you will witness the rage, for they are extremely angry, extremely bitter and resentful because they see other people getting the things that they want and they’re furious and jealous.
They are generally dysfunctional, their lives tend to be quite messy in the sense that they do not like to comply with rules and regulations and they may have financial difficulties because of that. They do like to enforce their own rules, but never comply to them. They like to believe they are law abiding, perfect citizens but at the same time, they don’t appreciate being under any authority (police). They generally believe they are above the law and will break it because they believe they will not be caught and can do whatever they want. This is all to do with the sense of entitlement and the believe that they are special and so will not be subjected to the repercussions of breaking the law like ‘ordinary people’. They believe that rules are for ‘the common people’ and you know, they believe they are too superior for all of that!
Grandiose Fantasies of Greatness
They have grandiose fantasies of greatness. They will identify themselves with people in powerful positions of influence and liken themselves to that person because they see themselves at the same level. They will invent and would talk about all these great schemes and plans but most of the time nothing would come to fruition. They would ignore and and be less attentive to people they feel are less privileged and not on their level. They behave in a condescending and critical manner towards people who do not posses higher social standing or influence.
They are basically very unpleasant people to be around, if you know them personally. If you do know them personally you have to set boundaries to protect yourself from their toxicity.
2 thoughts on “Signs and Symptoms of A Covert Narcissist (Part Two)”
Superb posts, thank you! And so nice to see you’re in the UK too. Everything you say is accurate. Yes, they are the most dangerous because they’re so much more sly than the dumb, overt narcissist who *wants* the world to know how marvelous they are… It took me nearly twenty years to discover the main problem wasn’t me and my problems (though, God knows, I have problems!) but that I married a covert narcissist… The ultimate wolf in sheep’s clothing. I’ve written short stories about him, just to try to get a handle on the madness… I find it helps me cope. Perhaps you can relate? I’ll pick one…
I can’t – I’ve picked two, sorry.
Brief poem: https://amandafairchild.wordpress.com/that-poor-man/
Short (mostly true) story:
Hi Amanda! So glad you enjoyed my blog. I too have been married to narcissist for over twenty years. I only found out a few years ago about narcissism. I was always told that his toxic behaviour was because of me. Thanks for the stories. I’m busy at the moment ( cooking for the weekend), I’ll read them when I’ve finished.
LikeLiked by 1 person