Signs and Symptoms of A Covert Narcissist (Part Two)

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Extreme Sense of Entitlement and Arrogance
They feel entitled, want more than anybody else, lack empathy but at the same time, they think their not good enough. ( This personality disorder is so complex, it’s unbelievable) They think that they don’t deserve anything.
They are extremely self entitled they do believe they’re entitled to more than they have , they do believe that they’re special but also they hold the opposite conflicting notion that they’re not good enough, they don’t deserve anything. They do have low self-esteem issues, but they hide it to the world (that’s what I discovered about my husband). He would rather die than expose that he feels a little insecure at times. To narcissists, it’s a sign of weakness and cannot be seen as having any defect.
They are very arrogant and therefore will never apologise, (if they ever do apologise, it’s not genuine and is because they want something from you)but underneath all this they are not confident people, they may appear to be on the surface, but they are not. My husband has displayed this several times, most especially in ministry. But the way he carries himself publicly you would not imagine that he had any insecurities. It’s almost like a split personality, they are one way and at the same time another way.
They are prone to depression, self doubt, self pity, self isolation and withdrawal into the cave.

No Respect for Boundaries
Covert narcissists are particularly stubborn and have no respect for boundaries. They expect people to leave everything they’re doing to meet their demands. For example, if my husband wants to go out and eat with the family, he will expect everyone to be ready to go out now; irrespective of whether you already have a dinner date with friends that day. He just makes appointments because he’s free, he expects others to be free. I remember when we attended my daughters graduation in July at Leeds, to celebrate, we went to a Chinese buffet in town. When we got there, they gave us a place to sit, but my husband decided that he didn’t want sit there, he wanted to sit some where else ( he does this a lot in London). Unfortunately for him, this was not London and they were not having it at all. They insisted we sit in the place they originally gave us. My husband got upset, and walked out of the restaurant and waited for us in the car, while we all eat at the buffet with no problems.
They feel they’re entitled to do what they want, when they want and every has to agree with their decisions.
Extremely Sensitive to Criticism/Rule Breakers
Covert narcissists hate criticism in whatever form. Anything that looks like it will effect their self image, will lead to an emotional outburst and narcissistic injury. Then they will go on the attack, (always under cover)to protect themselves and their image.
Eventually the mask will slip and you will witness the rage, for they are extremely angry, extremely bitter and resentful because they see other people getting the things that they want and they’re furious and jealous.
They are generally dysfunctional, their lives tend to be quite messy in the sense that they do not like to comply with rules and regulations and they may have financial difficulties because of that. They do like to enforce their own rules, but never comply to them. They like to believe they are law abiding, perfect citizens but at the same time, they don’t appreciate being under any authority (police). My husband has this mistrust of the police, he hates the police, and this is because he has been caught a few times breaking the law. He bought a second hand car and was advised by the buyers to get one day insurance. He disregarded the advice, and drove the car on the road and was caught by the traffic police. My daughter was in the car at the time, (I refused to go with him because of his toxic behaviour) while the police was quizzing him he had my daughter quickly call insurance companies to get insurance on the car. Of course, he was prosecuted for not having insurance, but his response to me was, “Oh, they stopped me because I’m black, and I’m driving a nice car, they didn’t stop anyone else”. No, they stopped you because their equipment detected that you had no insurance on your car, period! They believe that rules are for ‘the common people’ and you know, they believe they are too superior for all of that!

Grandiose Fantasies of Greatness
They have grandiose fantasies of greatness. They will identify themselves with people in powerful positions of influence and liken themselves to that person because they see themselves at the same level. They will invent and would talk about all these great schemes and plans but most of the time nothing would come to fruition. They would ignore and and be less attentive to people they feel are less privileged and not on their level. They behave in a condescending and critical manner towards people who do not posses higher social standing or influence.
They are basically very unpleasant people to be around, if you know them personally. If you do know them personally you have to set boundaries to protect yourself from their toxicity.

2 thoughts on “Signs and Symptoms of A Covert Narcissist (Part Two)

  1. Amanda Fairchild 14/10/2017 / 12:45 pm

    Superb posts, thank you! And so nice to see you’re in the UK too. Everything you say is accurate. Yes, they are the most dangerous because they’re so much more sly than the dumb, overt narcissist who *wants* the world to know how marvelous they are… It took me nearly twenty years to discover the main problem wasn’t me and my problems (though, God knows, I have problems!) but that I married a covert narcissist… The ultimate wolf in sheep’s clothing. I’ve written short stories about him, just to try to get a handle on the madness… I find it helps me cope. Perhaps you can relate? I’ll pick one…

    I can’t – I’ve picked two, sorry.
    Brief poem: https://amandafairchild.wordpress.com/that-poor-man/

    Short (mostly true) story:
    https://amandafairchild.wordpress.com/timothy-gray/

    Like

    • chosen4purposeblog 14/10/2017 / 1:19 pm

      Hi Amanda! So glad you enjoyed my blog. I too have been married to narcissist for over twenty years. I only found out a few years ago about narcissism. I was always told that his toxic behaviour was because of me. Thanks for the stories. I’m busy at the moment ( cooking for the weekend), I’ll read them when I’ve finished.

      Liked by 1 person

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