How to Improve your Self-Confidence


Confidence is defined as a belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance. It is the belief in self. Lack of confidence affects your everyday life. Unfortunately, many people do not believe in themselves. They are in jobs they hate because they don’t think they can get a better one. Some people have allowed outside influences, such as opinions of others to affect the way they view themselves. This has led to people having many personal issues and practicing harmful behaviour (smoking excessively, alcohol abuse, drugs, anorexia, bulimia etc.) stemming from the fact that they lack confidence in themselves.

Here are some tips to help improve self-confidence:
Learn to like/love yourself.
It may be hard to believe, but many people dislike themselves. They’ve made some mistakes and they continually punish themselves for it. I’ve heard people say, ‘I’m so stupid’, ‘I’m such a failure’. People are so hard on themselves. There is only one of you. You are unique for that very same reason. If you don’t like you, who will like you? You are one of a kind and there will never be anyone like you. Write down all the things you like about yourself. If you find that hard to do, ask your friends or family to do it for you. You’ll be surprised at what they say and appreciate about you that you didn’t know yourself. Everybody has some good qualities, what others say about you will help you see yourself in a whole new light.  You will then begin to appreciate how awesome and wonderful you are!  After this new appreciation of yourself and your newly found qualities; do yourself a favour – take yourself out to dinner, pamper yourself with a spa treatment, or shopping treat, or something you’ll really enjoy.  People who like themselves are very confident, secure in their own skin and have a wonderful outlook on life. They are great to be around because they exude such positive energy and awareness.  In time, you will begin to feel the same way about yourself. Learn to like and love yourself and you’ll never need anyone’s approval again.

Be your authentic self.
Many of us live our lives being who others want us to be.  We dress certain ways because it’s expected of us, we wear makeup, just to the grocery store, because we don’t want to be judged as not being perfect. We behave in certain ways to be accepted.  We are not being who we really are. I remember, some time ago, I went to a dinner, and I was sitting down at a table with other people.  I was told I should get up and say hello to everybody there even though I knew none of them because it was expected of me. I felt anxious and uncomfortable, wondering why I had to do this, (I’m an introvert). I refused to do it. That’s not me and I will not be made to do something to be accepted by anyone. It’s like wearing clothes that are not your size, you feel uncomfortable in them but you’re wearing them because you want to please.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s a difference between doing uncomfortable things because you want to grow as an individual and doing  it because society/people require it from you to fit in. The question to ask your self is are you doing it to fit in, or because you want to grow/mature? Do you feel drained, heavy and exhausted or exhilarating and excited?  Be your authentic self will help to improve your self confidence.
Choose your Influences wisely.
Consider carefully the people in your life and choose who you surround yourself with. If you hang out with negative people, their negativity will rub off on you. Communicate with like-minded people who will lift you up and help you go to the next level in your life. Associate with people who celebrate your successes and comfort and encourage you when you fail. Limit contact with toxic family members or relationships. Focus on uplifting and inspiring thoughts, listen to inspiring music, read biographies of exceptional people and learn from them.

Stay tuned for more tips on how to improve your self-confidence.


What I Love about being an Introvert

Not too long ago, I was shamed for being an introvert. I was made to feel like I was not normal, because I didn’t like going out often, I don’t have many friends. They tried to make me feel bad that I’m not like them, that I’m abnormal. I refused to receive any negative judgements and opinions about myself. I love being me; I love being an introvert. So I decided to write a blog about the great things about being an introvert.

Introverts are not risk takers, they like to think thoroughly before making a major decision.

Introverts are deep thinkers and focused. They spend more time on completing a task because they want to get it right. Because of their deep understanding, in social situations/settings they come across as having a counsellor/therapist persona as they often like to listen to people talking rather than talking themselves which enables people to open up to them. They don’t talk a lot but when they do it makes a lot of sense because they have thought carefully about what to say. They mentally prepare and choose each word thoughtfully and carefully. They usually have an inner monologue, speculating about how they responded in many situations.

Introverts are very observant, sensitive and discerning, they seem to know things, or catch things that other people are not aware of. They are introspective and don’t just speak to be heard but speak only when necessary because they have patiently assessed the situation. What they say always makes a lot of sense because of this.

Introverts love studying, learning new things. They are like batteries; they store information, they eagerly go from one interesting fact to another. Their minds are regularly ruminating over fresh knowledge and love to share what they’ve discovered with other people.

Introverts are loyal, they will not talk about you behind your back or betray you. They value friendships, and every secret is safe with them.

Introverts are great listeners, they like listening to people and give great advice. They are empathetic, they can discern when you’re emotional, they intuitively know when to talk and when to keep silent and listen.

In spite of popular opinion, introverts make great leaders. They are prepared, careful, attentive, at ease working alone and with people.

Introverts are great workers, as they can work alone easily, they are able to accomplish great results.

They are very gifted/talented and find solitude helps their creative process, they would rather choose quiet secluded places than crowded loud ones.

Introverts know who they are, their weaknesses and their strengths. They are quiet but confident.

People mistake introverts as lonely people, they are not necessarily lonely, they just enjoy being alone. In other words, they’re just comfortable in their own skin, in their own company.

So if you are an Introvert – embrace your introvert badass self! There’s more to you than meets the eye. You are awesome and a wonderful person also!